


Letters

by postersonthewall



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, toni is soft for shelby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:55:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28665084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postersonthewall/pseuds/postersonthewall
Summary: Toni writes Shelby a letter while in the compound.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always nice :)

Shelby,

I don’t know if this letter will get to you. Even if it doesn’t, writing it at least makes me feel better. There isn’t a lot to look forward to here huh? They’ve got me in a cramped room with no windows and nothing but paper I crumble up to “play” basketball with. I hope your room has a window; at least you’d get to see the sunset. I remember one of the last nights on the island when you snuck me away from the rest and you showed me the green flash right before the sun set, it was nice. I think it was the nicest thing I could've found on that island, aside from you.

I get so angry here sometimes. Safe to say, don’t try punching your way through the door - from experience I can tell you that it doesn’t work for anything other than fucked up bloody knuckles and a bruised pride.

I don’t know where you are right now and I think that’s the worst part of all this. I’ve asked to see you nearly everytime I’ve talked to someone, but they keep fucking giving me these nonanswers that make me feel like I’m going crazy, which maybe I am. It’s still fucking annoying though.

I think they might be keeping you close though. The other night when I was trying to sleep I heard what sounded like your voice pass through the hallway outside my door. It was only for a second but I thought I heard that texan drawl of yours. I miss it. I miss you.

I can’t stop thinking about that night by the lychee tree. I didn’t think someone could look so beautiful covered in dirt and ridiculously sunburnt but you proved me wrong. You tend to do that often. I wish I would’ve held you a little tighter that night, a little closer to me, now that I know I’d go this long without you. You may get on my nerves Shelby Goodkind but you’re very easy to miss I can tell you that much. You and those fucking fangs of yours.

They aren’t giving me answers here and I’m scared. I’m not one to admit that but at this rate, Leah’s batshit crazy theories are starting to make a bit of sense to me. I’ve always been one to run away, but for one of the first times in my life I’m truly afraid that I’ll never make it back home, and if I don’t, I want to write this down.

In my head I imagine us somewhere safe when this nightmare is over. I imagine that I love you and you love me, even though I know we’re both terrified to admit it. I think about taking you for drives along the highway and buying you ice cream late at night and making fun of you when you get some on your face. I feel like I know you so well but also know nothing at all. I imagine you telling me your favourite colour and then I can see myself buying you nearly everything I find in that colour, even if you don’t need it. (By the way, what’s your favourite colour?) I wonder what you’d look like in my basketball jersey at one of my games or wearing one of my hoodies in the cold Minnesota weather. I think about kissing you in a place that isn’t a forest or littered with sand and I think about you kissing me back how you always do. I wonder what your closet looks like, what clothes do you usually wear? Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I dream about being able to have a meal with you without worrying about what we’d be eating the next day, and I think about that smile of yours when I’d look at you from across the table. I think about holding you at night in a warm place where I can wake up to you and ask you what you dreamt of, and you can tell me with a smile that you forgot.

Shelby, I really wanna get out of this place. I have so much to show you, to do with you, and I’m so afraid I’ll never see that smile of yours again. I don’t think I’d be able to take it. I’ve lost so fucking much and if I lose you I genuinely don’t think I’d ever be whole again.

I go to sleep every night thinking about how tightly you hung onto me in the medical centre when they told us we had to go to separate rooms in the compound. I think about how good it felt to have you so close to me right before you got taken away. I think about how the last nights on the island you would curl up next to me by the fire and we’d press our foreheads together and whisper. I think so much about how during those nights you’d always interrupt my sentences with kisses, your hands holding my face. I wish I had held you face more.

I think so much about how you’d teach me about the constellations and their names and how you’d let me tell you about the music I listened to and the meals that felt like home. I can’t believe how often you smiled on that island. One look in your direction and I could always see that golden look. It calmed me down; or maybe as Fatin would say, make me a bit less of an aries or whatever the fuck that means.

So yea …. if this is the end of the line for me and I never get out of this fucking place, I need you to know that you were loved by me. And I need you to know that I did everything I could to try and fight my way back to you.

I hope that someday love can be enough. When it is, maybe I could finally call you mine.

With love,  
Toni


End file.
